MVP Best Cook. (#3)

For the third installment of 71 Reasons I Love Evgeni Malkin we turn back to the ever legendary ‘Cooking with Geno’ segment that Alyonka Larionov, daughter of retired NHL superstar Igor Larionov, did for the Penguins Show a few months back. As if we didn’t need another reason to love the lopsided grinning Russian, he had to go and do this and make us smile all over again. So, if you’re wondering how to make delicious Russian pierogies, or just looking for Geno adorable-ness, I’d watch this video over and over again.

Keep your eyes on the pierogies, Evgeni.

P.S.: For all the Tanger fans out there, he makes a camo in this video as well (:

Game Day Notes.

Sens and Pens are both playing tonight, so here’s a quick update on both my teams:

• Erik Karlsson got sent down to Binghamton yesterday, and won’t be in the lineup tonight. Apparently he was ‘emotional’ when he heard about this. Fack, no one wants to see Little E cry.
• Filip Kuba will be returning to the lineup tonight, after being out for the past 8 games with a lower body injury. Whop-di-doo.
• Both Pascal LeClaire and Peter Regin were at practice today, even with speculation going around that they both had flu. Both players are expected to play tonight. AKA: There will be no lack of Regin goodness for the female fans in the Sunrise Arena. All 4 of them. Fail.
• Shean Donovan has been added to the lineup tonight, making Ryan Shannon a healthy scratch. Epic. Fail.
• I think Jason Spezza should score a goal, I mean all this assisting and being a ‘better team player’ stuff is nice, but c’mon, I want GOAAALS, Jason.
• In Penguins news, female fans worldwide will mourn the loss of Letang’s Sex Hair tonight as the Canadiens head into Pittsburgh to face the Penguins. Yeah, that’s right. Kris LeTang got a hair cut. It’s gone. I was on the verge of tears when I found out. Legit. Look for the dull new look tonight at 7pm on RDS. FAILYFAILYFAILY.
• Tyler Kennedy will be out of the lineup tonight with an undisclosed injury. Meh. Fail.
• Tonight will mark Hal Gill’s return to Pittsburgh as a Montreal Canadien. Fail. He looked so much better in black & vegas gold.
• Penguins are welcoming back, Super Duper into the lineup tonight after missing the past two days due to illness. Win.
• Oh, and the Penguins issued a statement saying that they weren’t worried about the entire team getting swine and blahblahblah
• LETS GO SENS/PENS!!!

Friday Mash-Up: Summer Edition

For the first edition of Friday Mash-Up, I’m gonna let you all in on the soundtrack of certain hockey players over the course of their summer.

Max Talbot partied to this with the Stanley Cup and a few hookers. All summer long. Maxime knows how to live:

Kris LeTang moped to this  while stroking his luscious, silky hair and drinking Jack Daniels Scorpian Whiskey out of the Cup:

Alex Ovechkin was sitting in his pile of cash in Russia thinking about his life, and listening to this classic about his life:

Evgeni Malkin was hooking up with that horrid Russian pornstar-esque girlfriend of his while jamming to his tune:

This was Jason Spezza’s song all summer. I especially love the ‘and divorced’ part:

Here’s his wife’s, Jennifer Snell, theme song, just in case you need to know:

Kay, I think I’m done for this week.

Cheers.

Shut Up, Philadelphia, Pens Win.

The Battle of Pennsylvania, taking place in The City of Brotherly Love. Blahblahblah.

First Period.

Power play, no time wasting here, Gonchar to Malkin and then …

1-0

Then Malkin was accused of two of the most confusing penalty calls I’ve seen in all my hockey watching years, leaving everyone like this:

Danny scored a little while after that. Meh. Tie game.

Next face-off, Malkin and Staal are out there together. Malkin pulls out some key moves, dishes the puck to Staal and then …

BAM. 2-1

And then well, you know.  When you see Fleury doing this:

It normally leads to this:

At least it didn't go in.

Second Period.

Penalty Kill, Cookie breaks his stick, then tried to recover by blocking a shot like fucking Superman, block takes a bad bounce and …

boo. 2-2

Danny scores. Wah.

Later: Penguins catch Philly on a horrid line change, power play, Billy G decides to take a shot at it. Scores. 3-2

Penguins take a bunch of penalties, and just when you’ve started to get a little pissed off…

BANG. 4-2

Coburn inexplicably throws the puck at his own net. Ray Emery wasn’t even looking, Goligoski gets credit for the goal.

Toward the end of the period, Crosby trips Hartnell.
Then Staal chases Timonen. Then he slashes Timonen.
Never mind the Timonen interference on Staal that started that whole thing.
Flyers score on the 5-on-3.
4-3

Third Period.

Pens looked lazy at the beginning, Philly was out shooting and hitting them. Malkin wakes up the Penguins by running over everyone. Malkin is my hero.

Kennedy taps it into the Flyers zone.
Matt Cooke gets the puck.
Teddy all alone in front.

Thank you, Mr. President: 5-3

Great play all around.

Towards the end of the third, a few penalties are called on both sides. At one point, the Penguins had a 5-3. Couldn’t connect.

Then, Philly pulls Emery.
Jeff Carter puts one in the back of the net with 41 seconds to go. What a shot.
5-4

0.15 seconds left to go.
All hell breaks loose.
Richards runs over MAF.
Hartnell decides to taste Le Swoon’s finger.
Flyers Fail.

Final Score: 5-4. Pens win.

Daily Dose of Sex Hair

We really must talk to him about this entire hat thing. It’s depressing. 

Much better, Kristopher.

There’s that bloody hat again. 

I’m just going to pretend that’s me on the phone with him.

Dear Kris LeTang’s Hat Collection,

Fuck you.

Bye,

MM

Meh (58 Days)

58 days.
That’s all.
58 days and I will be a free bird.
58 days and I may cry a few tears of joy.
58 days and I’ll scream and laugh and swoon.
58 days and the regular season starts.
Thank fucking God.

I haven’t been on here in a while because I’ve gotten easily distracted by writing and reading fan fics. And you know what I realized today? I’m so over all of that. I mean, why would I get caught up reading a story about someone’s unrealistic life? You know, the one where you’re friends with all the Penguins and you’re married to Kris LeTang but you’re having an affair with Max Talbot AND Jordan Staal. Like, come on. Please. These stories would be semi-interesting if they had any real morals or values at all, but they don’t. And nothing about them is realistic. It’s all bull shit. So I’ve stopped reading/writing them for now, and I’m going to focus more on this blog. This is real life, and this is what is important to me right now.

Welcome me back, loves.

Ah, Much Better.

After a depressing week of bad moves by the Sens, and still no Colby in Pittsburgh, I’ve decided to make myself feel better by staring at THAT BEAUTIFUL picture over and over again. Oh, how I love my Sex Hair. It’s depressing that everytime I see him in public he’s wearing a hat and covering up his luscious locks. Heh, men.