Dany, You Douche.

Leave us, and I will be heartbroken FOREVER.

TSN.ca’s telling me right now that Dany requested a trade. 




Dear Dany Heatley,

Leave, and you gain the spot as my most-hated ex-Sens. You carried this team to a fucking Stanley Cup final. Don’t be a Hossa. Don’t think, “Oh, this team sucks, I should go to Calgary so I can win a cup.” Please, DON’T. I don’t know WHAT could make you want to do this. For the past 3 years, you’ve carried this team on your fucking back, and now you’re going to leave them, just when they have a decent season coming up for them? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? Did you kill someone else Ottawa-related? Because, honestly, that’s the ONLY condition I could ever see you wanting to request a trade. Sure, they had a bad season, but you don’t fucking ditch. Only douches ditch, and I really don’t think you’re a douche. Please, don’t leave. It’ll break my heart. Shatter it into 52467285627957462 pieces. This stings almost as much as all the talk about Spez being traded at the deadline. But did that happen?NO. Because Spez WANTS to be here. He WANTS to help this team. If you honestly don’t want to be in Ottawa and play for this team, well then, fuck you. Get out of my city. 



PS: Just heard “Razor Sharp Ray Emery” just signed with Philadelphia. Heh. They have NO IDEA what their getting themselves into. You guys are really dumb.

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