Stab to the Heart

October 10, 2010

Kris, Army. No offense or anything, but those outfits make you look fat.

Dear Toronto Maple Leafs,

FUCKING STOP MAKING ME LOVE YOU BY ADOPTING ALL MY FAVOURITE PLAYERS.
DIE BITCHES.

Fuck you,

MM

Alternatively, these looks are much much better for you two.

And…


I Find This Out Now.

December 31, 2009

The lovely wife of everybody’s favorite ex-Penguin, Colby Armstrong, Melissa, is expecting their first child in June of next year! Also, apparently, Siddo didn’t show up to their wedding. Cause he was too busy being a Stanley Cup Champion to possibly show up to his best friends wedding. Dick move, Cappy.

Congrats Colby!!!


Ugh.

July 10, 2009

Almost two weeks into the free agency madness and the Sens have only done three things. Signed Neil, traded Auld for a SIXTH ROUND draft pick, and blew 10 million dollars on an inconsistent forward named Alex Kovalev.

Brian Murray, you’re fired.

And meanwhile, Colby still hasn’t come home and Heatley’s still a douche.


Oh Sidney.

June 22, 2009

I don’t think there’s a person in this world who wanted the Stanley Cup more than Sidney Crosby. Say whatever you want about him. Yes, he whines. But he has the biggest work ethic in the NHL. He, along with Geno and Ovie, have really brought more interest to the League. He has dreamed of this moment since the day he was born. He has worked for this since the moment he was born. Even with all the shit that he’s been through in the past couple of years with the media, he has proven to have matured and handled it very well for a kid that’s only 21. Sidney Crosby deserved this Cup. I don’t think you all remember where the Penguins were before he came. It just proves how much a couple of good draft picks can make a difference in your organization. In a matter of 6 years, this team has gone from last place nobody’s to Stanley Cup champions. Take it all in, Crosby, you’ve worked your whole life for this.

sid with the cup

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, and, 50 bucks says either Max or Colby took this picture. I mean, who else?


Following Stanley

June 22, 2009

I apologize for the lack of major updates in the last few weeks, but this has been mostly because I’ve been too busy freaking out about the Pens winning the Cup  studying for final exams. Many people wonder what happens to a hockey blog during the off-season where there’s no hockey. Well, hockey extends further than 82 games and playoffs. During the post-season, some crazy shit can happen. Like, for example, still not knowing who’s going #1 overall in the draft next week. This is the first time this has happened in 6 years. The last time people were this uncertain about the draft was in 2003 when the Pens opted for Marc-Andre Fleury instead of Eric Staal. Personally, I think the Islanders will go for Tavares. Either that or make a trade *coughcough* Brian Burke *coughcough* Don’t get me wrong, I think any of the top-5 guys this year can make a drastic difference in that hockey club, I just think that with all the media/record breaking talent that Tavares has he’ll be the obvious choice. Another think that happens in the post season is the free-agency madness. And I mean MADNESS. On the Pens lineup, a couple of interesting names might not resign, such as Petr Sykora and the American Hero Rob Scuderi. If Shero doesn’t resign those two, he will MOST definitely become number one on my hitlist. First, you trade Colby, then you don’t sign Scuds and Syki? Okay, dude. Redeem yourself. Colby Freaking Armstrong is also a RFA at the end of the year. Do it, Shero, do it. He’s more popular than Santa Clause in Pittsburgh. You’ll be doing your fans a favor. I (with the help of Erika and Roxanne) wrote a letter to Ray Shero, we’ll scan it and post it up soon. It’s really quite epical. So, all summer, you can count on me to fully recap Lord Stanley’s summer. I’ll make sure to be the first to post the pictures of Max Talbot pissing into it, Sidney Crosby proposing to it, and Geno and the Malkin’s eating Borsht out of it. Unfortunately, I missed the NHL awards the other night. I did hear that O-V won the Hart. Psht. Whatever, he can have that trophy, Geno and I are plenty happy with our trophy. Damn straight, Alex, we went there. And anyone else hear the digs Boudreau made at the Pens? Uhm, douche alert! Just when you think you love that guy, he has to go and say something like THAT. Ugh. I thought it was REALLY classy that Max went to Vegas with Geno, even though he wasn’t, and probably never will be, nominated for an award. Whatever, he’s still MVP in my eyes.