This Made Me LOL

October 13, 2010

James Wisniewski, I miss you oh so much. Get out of the Island, nobody gets publicity over there. It’s like Uganda. Nothing. There.

Suspended two days for showing Sean Avery who he really is.

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Goodbye, Douchebag.

September 13, 2009

Dany Heatley, is gone. Finally.

Pop out the champagne, and celebrate.

This is the face of a man who has just realized that he is a total jackass, yet seems to think that he has done nothing wrong and that the Ottawa fans should still love him. Idiot.

This is the face of Ottawa fans everywhere.

homer_woohoo.jpg homer woohoo image by kaeli

Basically, we got rid of this:

And got this:

Dany, have fun in San Jose. Really, you’ll find a ton of prostitutes and get an awesome tan.

Meanwhile, all the good people in Ottawa will be freezing their asses of and thinking about how miserable it is without you, right?

SkatingontheRideauCanal.jpg image by elegantlywasted_2007

This is what Ottawa winters look like.

This is what San Jose winters look like.

Really, you’re fabulous, Dany.

I really can’t wait until the Sens play the Sharks and I get to see Chris Neil pound the living daylight out of him.

So here’s to four years of Dany Heatley. See you around Dany. It’s really ridiculous how much I’m not going to miss you.


On The Bright Side

September 9, 2009

Okay, I think we can all admit it now. Dany Heatley will be coming back to Ottawa. Fuck-a-doodle-doo. I know. But instead of sitting at home grumbling about what we could’ve possibly gotten for him, we can look on the bright-yet-dim-side, and that is that I’m going to have one hell of a laugh at the home opener when Dany Heatley skates back onto Senators ice -in a Senators jersey- only to have everyone boo him. I’ll put my sign right up to the glass and hope he sees it. It’s going to look a little something like this.

 

=

 


See also: Dany Heatley.

I hate Dany Heatley so much right now, that if he were to come up to me looking like this, I’d stomp on his flowers, and shoo him away. Seriously.

Ah man. I’m going to have fun coming up with random signs I can use to insult Dany every game of the rest of his career. Like um, this one.

 > 

Remember Dany, you wanted to leave this …

And this.

But whatevs, man. Your choice.


Guess Who’s Back …

August 29, 2009

I am now back safely in Ottawa, with normal food, and reliable internet connection. I know you missed me. A few things happened while I was away, including the Team Canada orientation camp featuring a few of my favorites.

Like Spez. Spez is definitely one of my favorites.

And Johnny. I like Johnny too. I really hope Toews makes the team, there’s something about him that just screams “I’ll win you a gold medal Canada!!”

You have no idea how glad I am that Drew made the try-outs. 

And take a look at my awesome, full of win, Maxime Talbot resembling Photoshop skills on the picture below. Sorry, Jared. Maybe next time when you’re pubescent enough to grow a beard.

staalbros

Steve Mason for President.

And not to forget the boy with the beautiful smile. Flower.

But there’s also a few of my least favorites at the camp.

Like, per-say, Dany Heatley. He is definitely up there on the least favorites list. 

D049001003.JPG

Oh wait — he’s the only one on that roster that I don’t like.

And then there’s all the good players that you just know are going to make the team. I don’t really need to mention them on here. I’m looking at you boys, Sid, Iggy, Stanley Cup Stealing Ducks, and BAMF goalies.

So, good luck to all, — except you, Dany, and make Canada proud this year.


Dany Heatley Speaks

August 21, 2009

I’m not really ready to talk about this yet. I’m too busy laughing at all the moronic things he said, just to prove even further that he is, in fact, a douchebag. More on this later.


WTF

June 4, 2009

Okay, so WordPress is a douche.

My Blingee didn’t work.

Ah well, if you want magnum sized excellentness, I’ll post the link to my Blingee page on here. 

http://blingee.com/profile/MizzMalkin

Damn. Straight.


Stuff Like This Pisses Me Off

June 4, 2009

First of all, I think you should all know about my crazy obsession for Puck Huffers. They’re ridiculous. It’s awesome. So when people go around saying shit like this about them. It pisses me off. A lot. 

That, everyone, is an example of a depressed Red Wings fan who just realized he won’t be getting the cup this year. He know’s shit about hockey, and should really just go die in a hole and leave those lovely ladies crazy bitches over at PH alone.

They count the amount of Hint Of Lime Tostitos they eat and burn Red Wing merchandise on the Mellon steps. Yes, they’re that cool.