Stab to the Heart

October 10, 2010

Kris, Army. No offense or anything, but those outfits make you look fat.

Dear Toronto Maple Leafs,

FUCKING STOP MAKING ME LOVE YOU BY ADOPTING ALL MY FAVOURITE PLAYERS.
DIE BITCHES.

Fuck you,

MM

Alternatively, these looks are much much better for you two.

And…


Been There.

February 1, 2010

People act as if they haven’t partied shirtless with a bunch of girls in a Limo while driving through the streets of Vancouver, but we all know they have. It seems like Patrick Kane, John Madden, and Kris Versteeg all got their share. But why are people beating them up about this? They’re young, rich, athletes, and shit happens when you’ve got tons of money, and a night off. Let them have their fun.

Dear Patrick Kane,

Brother, you coulda at least found some hotter broads to party with, you must have been really, really drunk to have withstood those … beautys?

lovelovelove,

MM


Recap: Pitt/Chi

December 6, 2009

Guess who was booooooooooooooooooed all game? Even in the warmup.

Was it :

a) Cappy

Sidney Crosby #87 of the Pittsburgh Penguins celebrates with the Stanley Cup after defeating the Detroit Red Wings by a score of 2-1 to win Game Seven and the 2009 NHL Stanley Cup Finals at Joe Louis Arena on June 12, 2009 in Detroit, Michigan.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Sidney Crosby

b) An Asian Cowboy:

or c) This guy:

If you guessed c) Marian Ho$$a, you were right. You win a Stanley Cup. Ho$$a doesn’t.

mm , inviting , isn't it Hoss.

A few points on the game:

  • The men who speak into microphones, drowning out the real sounds of the game were saying that this is the Stanley Cup Finals preview. Yep. I called this a while ago.
  • Duncan Keith’s hair is my emotional support for the loss of Sex Hair.
  • Oh yeah, the guy who ruined the Blackhawks for me scored. Meh. The only way he could get the goal was if he dove into the net.
  • Billy Guerin had a bitchfest with Brent Seabrook.
  • Orpik threw a glove at Jonny T’s face. LOLZ.
  • Geno bear-hugged Colin Fraser in a middle of a face-off and starting throwing punches to his face. Not much came outta that.
  • There was a lot of this :

  • And a lot of this:

  • Oh, the Niemi kid was pretty insane. He was on acid or something, cause he didn’t stop moving all night.
  • Ditto for MAF.
  • One word: JStaal.
  • I want him.
  • Verbeauty scores in OT. Kay.
  • 2-1 final.
  • Sid was out.
  • Doesn’t count when Sid id out.
  • Got a point.
  • Hawks got two.
  • I’m happy.
  • Jordan Staaaaaaal.
  • I miss Adam Burish.
  • Max Talbot looked pretty god.
  • I miss Adam Burish.
  • Adam.
  • Burish.