October 10, 2010
Kris, Army. No offense or anything, but those outfits make you look fat.
Dear Toronto Maple Leafs,
FUCKING STOP MAKING ME LOVE YOU BY ADOPTING ALL MY FAVOURITE PLAYERS.
Alternatively, these looks are much much better for you two.
May 8, 2010
Everybody needs to take a breath, and sit the fuck down. One game. One game, and suddenly everyone’s lost their faith in the Penguins? Relax. We’re the reining Stanley Cup champions, and the Habs are just making the second round of the playoffs for the first time since 2008.
Pittsburgh is the better team. We did this, remember?
The series is just tied. They’re not blowing us away 3-0. So everybody calm the fuck down.
The Habs aren’t going anywhere.
Dear Pittsburgh Penguins,
Go Pens Go.
February 1, 2010
People act as if they haven’t partied shirtless with a bunch of girls in a Limo while driving through the streets of Vancouver, but we all know they have. It seems like Patrick Kane, John Madden, and Kris Versteeg all got their share. But why are people beating them up about this? They’re young, rich, athletes, and shit happens when you’ve got tons of money, and a night off. Let them have their fun.
Dear Patrick Kane,
Brother, you coulda at least found some hotter broads to party with, you must have been really, really drunk to have withstood those … beautys?
August 29, 2009
We really must talk to him about this entire hat thing. It’s depressing.
Much better, Kristopher.
There’s that bloody hat again.
I’m just going to pretend that’s me on the phone with him.
Dear Kris LeTang’s Hat Collection,
August 19, 2009
Is today the day we find out Patrick Kane will be spending the next three years in jail? Or the day we find out he just has to do a bunch of community service and leaves the courtroom with a free pass? The district attorney in Buffalo says he expects a grand jury to announce charges today against Pat. Lets keep our fingers crossed that nothing too drastic comes out of this. Team Patrick.
No matter what comes out of today, in the end, I still love you and you still have fans who support you through every stupid move you make.
August 18, 2009
Am I the only one who finds this ridiculously amusing? I always knew Marian Hossa was a pervert. Some sort of pedophile cougar. And I do believe you can use the term ‘cougar’ for a 30 something year old man who decided to go to Chicago because the Blackhawks are hot and young
Can’t you molest the Flyers or something?
Leave my Blackhawks alone!