Happy Birthday, Ho$$a.

January 12, 2010

It’s Ho$$a’s birthday today.

He doesn’t get a photo montage.

He get’s this:

and this :

Happy Birthday, bud.

Recap: Pitt/Chi

December 6, 2009

Guess who was booooooooooooooooooed all game? Even in the warmup.

Was it :

a) Cappy

Sidney Crosby #87 of the Pittsburgh Penguins celebrates with the Stanley Cup after defeating the Detroit Red Wings by a score of 2-1 to win Game Seven and the 2009 NHL Stanley Cup Finals at Joe Louis Arena on June 12, 2009 in Detroit, Michigan.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Sidney Crosby

b) An Asian Cowboy:

or c) This guy:

If you guessed c) Marian Ho$$a, you were right. You win a Stanley Cup. Ho$$a doesn’t.

mm , inviting , isn't it Hoss.

A few points on the game:

  • The men who speak into microphones, drowning out the real sounds of the game were saying that this is the Stanley Cup Finals preview. Yep. I called this a while ago.
  • Duncan Keith’s hair is my emotional support for the loss of Sex Hair.
  • Oh yeah, the guy who ruined the Blackhawks for me scored. Meh. The only way he could get the goal was if he dove into the net.
  • Billy Guerin had a bitchfest with Brent Seabrook.
  • Orpik threw a glove at Jonny T’s face. LOLZ.
  • Geno bear-hugged Colin Fraser in a middle of a face-off and starting throwing punches to his face. Not much came outta that.
  • There was a lot of this :

  • And a lot of this:

  • Oh, the Niemi kid was pretty insane. He was on acid or something, cause he didn’t stop moving all night.
  • Ditto for MAF.
  • One word: JStaal.
  • I want him.
  • Verbeauty scores in OT. Kay.
  • 2-1 final.
  • Sid was out.
  • Doesn’t count when Sid id out.
  • Got a point.
  • Hawks got two.
  • I’m happy.
  • Jordan Staaaaaaal.
  • I miss Adam Burish.
  • Max Talbot looked pretty god.
  • I miss Adam Burish.
  • Adam.
  • Burish.

Marian Hossa: Cougar.

August 18, 2009

Am I the only one who finds this ridiculously amusing? I always knew Marian Hossa was a pervert. Some sort of pedophile cougar. And I do believe you can use the term ‘cougar’ for a 30 something year old man who decided to go to Chicago because the Blackhawks are hot and young

Dear Hossa,
Can’t you molest the Flyers or something?
Leave my Blackhawks alone!

That Was Disgusting.

June 7, 2009

Gross Pens, ew. You just blew your chance to hoist Stanley at home, congratulations. I didn’t say you blew your chance to hoist Stanley in general, because I, and everyone else rooting for you, still fully believe you’re capable of hoisting that cup this year. You want it, we want it, make it yours. In order to make it yours, you have to step it up 463 notches next game, and the next. Not only Sidney Crosby or Evgeni Malkin, you need to step it up TOGETHER. AS A TEAM. This is a TEAM, and in a team it doesn’t matter how many superstars or fourth-liners you have, you work together. This isn’t a one-man sport, this is a TEAM sport, so in order to get your fucking names on that cup, work TOGETHER, and god-dammit it’s yours. You know it. We all know it. The Redwings are a machine, built to never change it’s functions. What you have to do id break that machine down. Throw something at it that it wouldn’t expect and make it rebuild itself to turn into a different team. When you’re this deep into the playoffs, you don’t have time to completely redo your structure, which is why when you strike, you have to strike fast. What you have to do is put ALL that shit from the previous game aside and focus on what’s happening in two days. Game 6. Do or Die. Forget that Fleury let in 5 goals on 21 shots, or that you were shutout the previous game. That’s already happened, written in books, there’s nothing you can do to change it. But you can change your fate. Detroit is very good, but you guys have heart. Talent alone never lifted a Stanley Cup, it takes heart and grit as-well. You have heart, and you’ve got A LOT of it, and you’ve got the grit and talent, you’ve got motivation and fury. You’ve got all the right elements, get ready to unleash it on them in two nights. You need to be able to put everything aside from the past games and just say FUCK ‘EM, and do what you can. You have enough to win this. You can win it all. And when it comes handshake time, Ho$$a’s going to be the one feeling like a retard, not you.

Dear Max,

Mon chere, it’s superstar time. Show everyone why you’ve earned that nickname. I know it’s not just because of the car commercial. Score a few. Hell, score more than a few. Get dirty and in their faces. Time to unleash MAXIME TALBOT.



Dear Sidney,

Please, show why you’re the fucking captain. Stick it to Zetterberg next game, show him why you’re wearing the ‘C’ and he’s only wearing the ‘A’. Net a few and shut him up. We all know how bad you want this.



Dear MAF,

Put the shit-hole game behind you and listen to what Syki said. You’re good, believe it alright?



Dear Red Wings,

Fuck you. I had a really great time burning all your hockey cards on my deck last night. May you rot and burn in the fiery depths of hell.




To Release Some Anger …

June 4, 2009

My old blog was deleted, and since this blog is basically my LIFE I’ve decided to take the chance and start a new one. I’m pretty worked up about all this, because my half-a-year’s worth of writing has just been deleted, but if I manage to get the old site back, I’ll make sure to tell you. My previous blog had over 5000 views in just 6 months, which is very big for me. No one’s really ever taken the time to hear what I have to say before that blog, and it made me feel important for once in my life. 

To release some stress, I’ve played the following game about 478230482937492834798 times. No joke.


It’s highly addicting and it’s a great way for Pens fans to get a semi-redemption on Ho$$a.

This blog’s gotta long way to go, but I hope it’ll work out and end up more popular than the last. 

Thanks everyone (: