Welcoming Hockey Back Into My Life.

October 10, 2010

It’s been almost four months since I’ve posted anything on here.

But. I’m back now.

And guess who else is back?


If you don’t already know, Mr. Eberle scored one hell of a goal for his first NHL goal. Yeah. Best. First. Goal. Ever.

In light of that goal of the century, TSN asked a few players around the league (Including Sidney Crosby, girls) and some of his teammates about it. Resulting in fucking HILARIOUS results. Watch til the end if you want to see one of the most adorable things ever.

How fast can I get an Eberle jersey?


In other news, Mike Cammalleri is still a douchebag.

The Senators have lost their first two games of the season so far, only being able to score one goal in each game. Lack of offense, back defense, what else is new?

Sens still suck, Mike Cammalleri is still a fuck, and Jordan Eberle is still a fucking hero.

Welcome back, hockey. We’ve all missed you.

Cleaning out the Locker Room

April 28, 2010

It took six games for the better team to win. You know, the reining Stanley Cup Champions? Six games to beat a team that didn’t even make the playoffs last year. Six games to beat a team that was over-loaded with injuries. Six games to beat the Ottawa Senators.

The Sens gave them one hell of a fight, that’s for sure. Everyone went into this series thinking about how easy it would be for the Penguins to take on the Senators. That’s not how it turned out though. The Senators fought for their lives after a couple of bad games in their own building. They put up a fight, gave it all they had, and I’m proud. I’m proud of my hometeam heros, no matter what the outcome and the end of the day is.

So here’s to you, Senators.

You gave them one hell of a series, and we’ll see you in October.

Toronto Stirs Some Shit Up: But It Still Won’t Help Them

February 1, 2010

A few days ago, I got a mobile update from TSN saying that Toronto had acquired Dion Phaneuf from Calgary. No other information was released in that text message, so I was stuck sitting on the bus with a huge WTF look on my face, and no one to share my confusion with. Only an half an hour later, I got another message. This one told me they got J.S Giguere.

First Trade:

To Toronto:

Dion Phaneuf, Fredrik Sjoatrom and Keith Aulie

To Calgary:

Niklas Hagman, Ian White, Matt Stajan and Jamal Mayers

Second Trade:

To Toronto:

J.S. Giguere

To Anaheim:

Vesa Toskala and Jason Blake

So after a short panic attack on the bus thinking that Toronto was a threat to the Sens holy awesome-ness, I realized, FACK THAT, Toronto has only won 17 games. Ottawa has won 31. So even with a Stanley Cup stealing winning goaltender and an All-Star defenseman, Toronto still has shit chance of making it anywhere this season. But it does put a question mark for next season. Throughout the years, Ottawa has always dominated Toronto during the season, but when it came time for the playoffs, Toronto always ended up on the winning end. What if this trade is enough to guarantee a playoff spot for the team next year? Let’s pray it’s not. Toronto’s cursed, and I refuse to believe that switching around a few guys is going to change much.

What Happened?

January 28, 2010

Did someone slip some the Sens some of Mama Malkin’s borscht? Because how they’ve been playing lately has been mind-blowing. Wtf yo. It wasn’t so long ago when the Sens were out of a playoff spot, and I was ready to drink my way to the early off-season. Now things have turned around, and the Senators have won seven in a row, and things are starting to look a lot like they did back in ’07 when the Senators managed to make it all the was to the Stanley Cup Final. I’m still bitter about that. Let’s not get me started on the Ducks. Somehow, in the past seven games, the Senators have managed to beat some of the League’s best, Chicago, Boston, New Jersey, and New York. The Senators are winning. And I am less likely to kill myself.

Tonight will be interesting. The fifth place Senators will be taking on the fourth place Penguins.

On TSN. That means Pierre McGuire. Ohmyfuck, I’m cracking out a bottle of tequila and playing the drinking game. Pierre cannot ruin this for me.

There will be blood.


January 10, 2010

If the Sens don’t win tonight, I swear I’ll cry. My prediction is that we win one out of five games on this road trip, end up in 10th place, and miss the playoffs for the second year in a row. It’s not a pretty prediction, but with all these injuries piling up, it’s shaping out to look like that. Whatever, go Blackhawks.

Game Day Notes.

October 28, 2009

Sens and Pens are both playing tonight, so here’s a quick update on both my teams:

  • Erik Karlsson got sent down to Binghamton yesterday, and won’t be in the lineup tonight. Apparently he was ’emotional’ when he heard about this. Fack, no one wants to see Little E cry.
  • Filip Kuba will be returning to the lineup tonight, after being out for the past 8 games with a lower body injury. Whop-di-doo.
  • Both Pascal LeClaire and Peter Regin were at practice today, even with speculation going around that they both had flu. Both players are expected to play tonight. AKA: There will be no lack of Regin goodness for the female fans in the Sunrise Arena. All 4 of them. Fail.
  • Shean Donovan has been added to the lineup tonight, making Ryan Shannon a healthy scratch. Epic. Fail.
  • I think Jason Spezza should score a goal, I mean all this assisting and being a ‘better team player’ stuff is nice, but c’mon, I want GOAAALS, Jason.
  • In Penguins news, female fans worldwide will mourn the loss of Letang’s Sex Hair tonight as the Canadiens head into Pittsburgh to face the Penguins. Yeah, that’s right. Kris LeTang got a hair cut. It’s gone. I was on the verge of tears when I found out. Legit. Look for the dull new look tonight at 7pm on RDS. FAILYFAILYFAILY.
  • Tyler Kennedy will be out of the lineup tonight with an undisclosed injury. Meh. Fail.
  • Tonight will mark Hal Gill’s return to Pittsburgh as a Montreal Canadien. Fail. He looked so much better in black & vegas gold.
  • Penguins are welcoming back, Super Duper into the lineup tonight after missing the past two days due to illness. Win.
  • Oh, and the Penguins issued a statement saying that they weren’t worried about the entire team getting swine and blahblahblah

Okay, Uh, What?

October 23, 2009

I think I speak for everybody who watched the Ottawa/Nashville game like night when I say: WTF?

That was most definitely the most bizarre Sens game of the season. The Sens were off to a bad start early in the first period when Picard deflected a Suter shot only 5 minutes into the first period, giving Nashville an early 1-0 lead. Picard went on to get a hattrick for Nashville — OH WAIT! HE PLAYS FOR OTTAWA! LOLOLOL, I COULDN’T TELL CAUSE HE SCORED SOO MANY GOALS FOR THE PREDS. But really, no offense, Alex. I really do like you. Just an off-night I suppose.

End of first: 3-0 Nashville. Fuck-a-doodle-doo, right?

Nothing really happens in the second period except for a smorgasbord of questionable penalties. McCreary wants BEEF from me. Or just for me to book him an optometrical appointment.

Kayso, third period.

Chris Campoli decided, “Heh, why not try and score? Like, we’re losing to Nashville, we got nothing to lose”

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Score. 3-1

Shortly after that, Nicky Foligno was all like “WHAA?! CHRIS SCORED?! AWH, MAN. NOW, I NEED A GOAL.”

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Cha-chiiing. 3-2

Momentum is building. Milan Michalek’s all like “LOLZ, I LIKE SCORE GOALZ. CUZ I’M FLYYY LIKE TAT.”

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Dany who? 3-3

Then, the Hockey Gods decide to put this thing called Shea Weber on full blast right after our power session. Meh.

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Betch. 4-3

Have no fear, ridic Jason Spezza passes and Anton Volchenkov were there to save the day.

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I love it when Volchie scores. 4-4

Next up: That Suter guy scores again. Not in the mood to show is face on here. 5-4. Everyone’s leaving, 1.6 seconds left, and whaaa? CHRIS PHILLIPS SCORES. LIKE WTF?! When was the last game that Anton Volchenkov AND Chris Phillips scored?! Yeaaahh. Never. Anyways, buildings going batshit crazy.

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Like a boss. 5-5

Overtime: heartbreak city.

A bunch of penalties are called, 4-3 and then whatshisface scores to end like WTF-fest at the Scotiabank place.

To sum up the game in a few words: Most confusing 2 and 1/2 hours of my life.

Go Sens Go!


Here We Go, Senators.

September 15, 2009

Another season, another chance to start all over again for the Ottawa Senators. The last one was a huge disappointment, there’s no doubt in that. But that doesn’t mean that the team is doomed forever. No one is doomed forever.  Even when you hit rock bottom, things somehow manage to turn them selves around, and you feel yourself rising. 

Last season, the Senators hit rock bottom. 

At one point, they were the last place team in the division. Worse than the Leafs. I couldn’t handle it.

But then, hope was brought to the franchise. Legitimate hope. A fresh young new face, with new strategies that were seeming to work. By the end of the year everything was clicking. The Senators went on a 9-1 streak, putting them in extreme odds for a playoff spot. We knew it wasn’t going to happen. Things were looking up though. At the end of the season, I was proud of the Senators. I am proud of the Senators. So Dany Heatley decided he didn’t like it here. So what? Fuck him. It doesn’t matter anymore, it’s all in the past. Right now, I’m focusing on the present, and the future. The future that I truly believe holds potential to bring the Stanley Cup, which was made in Ottawa, back home. 

This may seem insane. But that’s who I am. I’m optimistic at most. And I believe that this is possible. At the end of this season, I want to see Nick Foligno and Ryan Shannon and all the underdogs on my hometeam, celebrating victory. Being victorious. Alfredsson carried this team all the way to the finals three years ago. We’re the same core team. We can do it again. So here’s to another season, the ups and downs it will bring, the heartbreaks and triumphs there will be, the rivalries and the bonds that will be made between teammates. Here’s to the Ottawa Senators. Good luck boys, I’m behind you all the way.

Goodbye, Douchebag.

September 13, 2009

Dany Heatley, is gone. Finally.

Pop out the champagne, and celebrate.

This is the face of a man who has just realized that he is a total jackass, yet seems to think that he has done nothing wrong and that the Ottawa fans should still love him. Idiot.

This is the face of Ottawa fans everywhere.

homer_woohoo.jpg homer woohoo image by kaeli

Basically, we got rid of this:

And got this:

Dany, have fun in San Jose. Really, you’ll find a ton of prostitutes and get an awesome tan.

Meanwhile, all the good people in Ottawa will be freezing their asses of and thinking about how miserable it is without you, right?

SkatingontheRideauCanal.jpg image by elegantlywasted_2007

This is what Ottawa winters look like.

This is what San Jose winters look like.

Really, you’re fabulous, Dany.

I really can’t wait until the Sens play the Sharks and I get to see Chris Neil pound the living daylight out of him.

So here’s to four years of Dany Heatley. See you around Dany. It’s really ridiculous how much I’m not going to miss you.

On The Bright Side

September 9, 2009

Okay, I think we can all admit it now. Dany Heatley will be coming back to Ottawa. Fuck-a-doodle-doo. I know. But instead of sitting at home grumbling about what we could’ve possibly gotten for him, we can look on the bright-yet-dim-side, and that is that I’m going to have one hell of a laugh at the home opener when Dany Heatley skates back onto Senators ice -in a Senators jersey- only to have everyone boo him. I’ll put my sign right up to the glass and hope he sees it. It’s going to look a little something like this.




See also: Dany Heatley.

I hate Dany Heatley so much right now, that if he were to come up to me looking like this, I’d stomp on his flowers, and shoo him away. Seriously.

Ah man. I’m going to have fun coming up with random signs I can use to insult Dany every game of the rest of his career. Like um, this one.


Remember Dany, you wanted to leave this …

And this.

But whatevs, man. Your choice.