Chicago Wins the Stanley Cup

June 10, 2010

My mind = blown.

Shut Up, Philadelphia, Pens Win.

October 9, 2009

The Battle of Pennsylvania, taking place in The City of Brotherly Love. Blahblahblah.

First Period.

Power play, no time wasting here, Gonchar to Malkin and then …


Then Malkin was accused of two of the most confusing penalty calls I’ve seen in all my hockey watching years, leaving everyone like this:

Danny scored a little while after that. Meh. Tie game.

Next face-off, Malkin and Staal are out there together. Malkin pulls out some key moves, dishes the puck to Staal and then …

BAM. 2-1

And then well, you know.  When you see Fleury doing this:

It normally leads to this:

At least it didn't go in.

Second Period.

Penalty Kill, Cookie breaks his stick, then tried to recover by blocking a shot like fucking Superman, block takes a bad bounce and …

boo. 2-2

Danny scores. Wah.

Later: Penguins catch Philly on a horrid line change, power play, Billy G decides to take a shot at it. Scores. 3-2

Penguins take a bunch of penalties, and just when you’ve started to get a little pissed off…

BANG. 4-2

Coburn inexplicably throws the puck at his own net. Ray Emery wasn’t even looking, Goligoski gets credit for the goal.

Toward the end of the period, Crosby trips Hartnell.
Then Staal chases Timonen. Then he slashes Timonen.
Never mind the Timonen interference on Staal that started that whole thing.
Flyers score on the 5-on-3.

Third Period.

Pens looked lazy at the beginning, Philly was out shooting and hitting them. Malkin wakes up the Penguins by running over everyone. Malkin is my hero.

Kennedy taps it into the Flyers zone.
Matt Cooke gets the puck.
Teddy all alone in front.

Thank you, Mr. President: 5-3

Great play all around.

Towards the end of the third, a few penalties are called on both sides. At one point, the Penguins had a 5-3. Couldn’t connect.

Then, Philly pulls Emery.
Jeff Carter puts one in the back of the net with 41 seconds to go. What a shot.

0.15 seconds left to go.
All hell breaks loose.
Richards runs over MAF.
Hartnell decides to taste Le Swoon’s finger.
Flyers Fail.

Final Score: 5-4. Pens win.

Dany, You Douche.

June 9, 2009

Leave us, and I will be heartbroken FOREVER.’s telling me right now that Dany requested a trade. 




Dear Dany Heatley,

Leave, and you gain the spot as my most-hated ex-Sens. You carried this team to a fucking Stanley Cup final. Don’t be a Hossa. Don’t think, “Oh, this team sucks, I should go to Calgary so I can win a cup.” Please, DON’T. I don’t know WHAT could make you want to do this. For the past 3 years, you’ve carried this team on your fucking back, and now you’re going to leave them, just when they have a decent season coming up for them? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? Did you kill someone else Ottawa-related? Because, honestly, that’s the ONLY condition I could ever see you wanting to request a trade. Sure, they had a bad season, but you don’t fucking ditch. Only douches ditch, and I really don’t think you’re a douche. Please, don’t leave. It’ll break my heart. Shatter it into 52467285627957462 pieces. This stings almost as much as all the talk about Spez being traded at the deadline. But did that happen?NO. Because Spez WANTS to be here. He WANTS to help this team. If you honestly don’t want to be in Ottawa and play for this team, well then, fuck you. Get out of my city. 



PS: Just heard “Razor Sharp Ray Emery” just signed with Philadelphia. Heh. They have NO IDEA what their getting themselves into. You guys are really dumb.