Live Blog.

May 10, 2010
  • LaPierre is a tool box.
  • If this is the Habs standing on their heads, playing for their lives. It’s not good enough.
  • I really don’t know how the tool-box gets away with a cross-check to the head. I really don’t know.
  • We’ve been down 3 goals in a game before and came back to win it. This shit is far from over.
  • Can we just … get rid of these guys? Cmon, this has gone on long enough. Sink them, Pens.
  • I am actively homicidal right now. This series makes no sense. Can we please get rid of these fuckers?
  • I would rather listen to Miley Cyrus everyday for the rest of my life than this OLAY OLAAAY OLAY OLAY SHIT.
  • OLAAAY OLAY OLAY … GET THE FUCK OUT.
  • If I ever go to Montreal, I’m bringing an industrial sized can of pepper spray and I’m going to spray fucking everyone.
  • Change Halak’s name to Haluck.
  • 40 years ago today, Bobby Orr flew.
  • That is off topic. I hate thaaaa Habz.
  • Mike Cammaleri Calameri needs to GTFO.
  • Who’s blowing the refs before the game?
  • WE ARE NOT LOSING THIS FUCKING GAME.
  • THREE LETTERS: MAF.
  • HALAK, FUCK YOURSELFFFF.
  • I’ve decided it was Mike Cammaleri who blew the refs. Fuck you all.
  • Excuse my French.
  • I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT LAPIERRE. HIS VERY EXISTENCE.
  • 4-2.
  • PENGUINS, CRACK HALAK HES A DOUCHE.
  • Enough already. Olay your mother.
  • Crosby sucks, Montreal? FUCK YOU, THAT’S THE CANADIAN HERO YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, SUCK MY NUTS AND BECOME YOUR OWN FUCKING COUNTRY ALREADY. FUCK. OFF.
  • AT LEAST, PUT SOMEONE IN THE HOSPITAL, IDC WHO. JUST FUCKING BREAK SOMEONE’S NECK, THAT’S ALL I WANT.
  • WULLAHHIIIIIII SAAAAAAAAAAARGE.
  • 4-3
  • ONE MORE, MOTHER FUCKERS MUAHAHA.
  • Congratulations, Montreal, you just won the Stanley Cup.
  • Game seven.
  • BURY THEM WEDNESDAY.

DEAR HABS,

FUCK YOU.

WHATEVER,

MM.


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Shut Up, Philadelphia, Pens Win.

October 9, 2009

The Battle of Pennsylvania, taking place in The City of Brotherly Love. Blahblahblah.

https://i2.wp.com/www.thepensblog.com/images/stories/200910/logos/pens.png https://i0.wp.com/www.thepensblog.com/images/stories/200910/logos/phi.png

First Period.

Power play, no time wasting here, Gonchar to Malkin and then …

1-0

Then Malkin was accused of two of the most confusing penalty calls I’ve seen in all my hockey watching years, leaving everyone like this:

Danny scored a little while after that. Meh. Tie game.

Next face-off, Malkin and Staal are out there together. Malkin pulls out some key moves, dishes the puck to Staal and then …

BAM. 2-1

And then well, you know.  When you see Fleury doing this:

https://i2.wp.com/www.thepensblog.com/images/stories/200910/recaps/oct/game_4/mafstick.jpg

It normally leads to this:

At least it didn't go in.

Second Period.

Penalty Kill, Cookie breaks his stick, then tried to recover by blocking a shot like fucking Superman, block takes a bad bounce and …

boo. 2-2

Danny scores. Wah.

Later: Penguins catch Philly on a horrid line change, power play, Billy G decides to take a shot at it. Scores. 3-2

Penguins take a bunch of penalties, and just when you’ve started to get a little pissed off…

https://i2.wp.com/www.thepensblog.com/images/stories/200910/recaps/oct/game_4/tenk.jpg

BANG. 4-2

Coburn inexplicably throws the puck at his own net. Ray Emery wasn’t even looking, Goligoski gets credit for the goal.

Toward the end of the period, Crosby trips Hartnell.
Then Staal chases Timonen. Then he slashes Timonen.
Never mind the Timonen interference on Staal that started that whole thing.
Flyers score on the 5-on-3.
4-3

Third Period.

Pens looked lazy at the beginning, Philly was out shooting and hitting them. Malkin wakes up the Penguins by running over everyone. Malkin is my hero.

Kennedy taps it into the Flyers zone.
Matt Cooke gets the puck.
Teddy all alone in front.

Thank you, Mr. President: 5-3

Great play all around.

Towards the end of the third, a few penalties are called on both sides. At one point, the Penguins had a 5-3. Couldn’t connect.

Then, Philly pulls Emery.
Jeff Carter puts one in the back of the net with 41 seconds to go. What a shot.
5-4

0.15 seconds left to go.
All hell breaks loose.
Richards runs over MAF.
Hartnell decides to taste Le Swoon’s finger.
Flyers Fail.

Final Score: 5-4. Pens win.


Alex, Start A Blog, Seriously. I Love You

June 10, 2009
  • I didn’t know they called Sergei ‘Gonch’. That sounds really macho…I’m gonna name my kid Gonch. It sound kinda like The Hulk. The Gonch. “Hey, Gonch, come here for a sec…” Hmmm…weird.

    • I always knew Heatly was a douchebag. To make matters worse, I even told you a couple times, but did you ever listen? NO. Now look who’s a quitter? You should have seen it coming, I mean what kind of a team player just stands COMPLETELY still all game long (and I mean no foot movement whatsoever) and then scores a hat-trick? I dunno how he does it, but those are the signs of a major ass-monkey. Trust me. I said the same thing about Spezz a while back and then look who almost got traded? Luckily, JayJay (my new name, just thought of it now) smartened up a bit, and kicked major foreign booty in the Worlds.
    • Johnny Toews speaking french kind of makes me hate him a little bit. Just a little. He sounds like…like…RACINE. ewwy! And he’s all like, “Jambes de grenouille, merci Monsieur, tres delicieux, merci. Aurevoir.” Douche face francophone. Yeah, thats right. I just called Tazer a douche face francophone. Deal with it.
    • -al with love and stuff
    • P.S: Going to game 7 baby! WHOOT WHOOT!!!! Thank you Jordan Staal. Eric, I miss you. Your wife is a slut. If it weren’t for her you wouldn’t have a record. Your little brother has done time, thanks to you! You have such bad taste!P.P.S (from last message): I’ve decided that Gonch is a too manly name for my kid. It’s also a hard name to live up to. I’ve decided that if I have a boy, his name shall be Marc-Andre. If I have a girl, she shall be Geno. I think that’s an awesome name for a girl. She’d kick ass. She’d be like the schoolyard bully who beat up the geeky kid named Marc-Andre.
    • EDIT : I think the people who read underdog obsessed should know about Tyler. They’d be very happy to learn that he’s staying in your house right now and that you wear Jordan Eberle’s shorts to gym class. You are a famous person’s cousin, take advantage of it. If I were Tyler’s cousin I wouldn’t waste a second telling the whole damn world. Now, you can. Do it. And tell him I say hi and tell him who I am, because if you don’t he’ll just think I’m this random stalker person who’s obsessed with him. ……don’t answer that.
    • Hugs and stuff,
    • Al
    • P.S. Did you notice how I said Tyler instead of Tyler Myers? I’m growing as a person! Yay! Cept, saying Tyler Myers is like saying Adam Burish. The Tyler can’t go without the Myers, just like the Adam can’t go without the Burish. Enough said.
    • The word ‘Burish’ is kind of starting to sound like some sort of Indian burrito. It’s losing it’s charm.