Live Blog.

May 10, 2010
  • LaPierre is a tool box.
  • If this is the Habs standing on their heads, playing for their lives. It’s not good enough.
  • I really don’t know how the tool-box gets away with a cross-check to the head. I really don’t know.
  • We’ve been down 3 goals in a game before and came back to win it. This shit is far from over.
  • Can we just … get rid of these guys? Cmon, this has gone on long enough. Sink them, Pens.
  • I am actively homicidal right now. This series makes no sense. Can we please get rid of these fuckers?
  • I would rather listen to Miley Cyrus everyday for the rest of my life than this OLAY OLAAAY OLAY OLAY SHIT.
  • OLAAAY OLAY OLAY … GET THE FUCK OUT.
  • If I ever go to Montreal, I’m bringing an industrial sized can of pepper spray and I’m going to spray fucking everyone.
  • Change Halak’s name to Haluck.
  • 40 years ago today, Bobby Orr flew.
  • That is off topic. I hate thaaaa Habz.
  • Mike Cammaleri Calameri needs to GTFO.
  • Who’s blowing the refs before the game?
  • WE ARE NOT LOSING THIS FUCKING GAME.
  • THREE LETTERS: MAF.
  • HALAK, FUCK YOURSELFFFF.
  • I’ve decided it was Mike Cammaleri who blew the refs. Fuck you all.
  • Excuse my French.
  • I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT LAPIERRE. HIS VERY EXISTENCE.
  • 4-2.
  • PENGUINS, CRACK HALAK HES A DOUCHE.
  • Enough already. Olay your mother.
  • Crosby sucks, Montreal? FUCK YOU, THAT’S THE CANADIAN HERO YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, SUCK MY NUTS AND BECOME YOUR OWN FUCKING COUNTRY ALREADY. FUCK. OFF.
  • AT LEAST, PUT SOMEONE IN THE HOSPITAL, IDC WHO. JUST FUCKING BREAK SOMEONE’S NECK, THAT’S ALL I WANT.
  • WULLAHHIIIIIII SAAAAAAAAAAARGE.
  • 4-3
  • ONE MORE, MOTHER FUCKERS MUAHAHA.
  • Congratulations, Montreal, you just won the Stanley Cup.
  • Game seven.
  • BURY THEM WEDNESDAY.

DEAR HABS,

FUCK YOU.

WHATEVER,

MM.


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On The Bright Side

September 9, 2009

Okay, I think we can all admit it now. Dany Heatley will be coming back to Ottawa. Fuck-a-doodle-doo. I know. But instead of sitting at home grumbling about what we could’ve possibly gotten for him, we can look on the bright-yet-dim-side, and that is that I’m going to have one hell of a laugh at the home opener when Dany Heatley skates back onto Senators ice -in a Senators jersey- only to have everyone boo him. I’ll put my sign right up to the glass and hope he sees it. It’s going to look a little something like this.

 

=

 


See also: Dany Heatley.

I hate Dany Heatley so much right now, that if he were to come up to me looking like this, I’d stomp on his flowers, and shoo him away. Seriously.

Ah man. I’m going to have fun coming up with random signs I can use to insult Dany every game of the rest of his career. Like um, this one.

 > 

Remember Dany, you wanted to leave this …

And this.

But whatevs, man. Your choice.


Daily Dose of Sex Hair

August 29, 2009

pens

We really must talk to him about this entire hat thing. It’s depressing. 

hey @MizzMalkin did you see this one on the puckbunny board?

Much better, Kristopher.

@MizzMalkin it's not new but in case you havent seen it...

There’s that bloody hat again. 

@MizzMalkin not sure where i got this one...

I’m just going to pretend that’s me on the phone with him.

Dear Kris LeTang’s Hat Collection,

Fuck you.

Bye,

MM


Marian Hossa: Cougar.

August 18, 2009

Am I the only one who finds this ridiculously amusing? I always knew Marian Hossa was a pervert. Some sort of pedophile cougar. And I do believe you can use the term ‘cougar’ for a 30 something year old man who decided to go to Chicago because the Blackhawks are hot and young
marian

Dear Hossa,
Can’t you molest the Flyers or something?
Leave my Blackhawks alone!
lovelovelove,
MM


Waiting.

August 16, 2009

Patrick Kane’s trial was today. And I’m currently sitting on my couch, writing this in an skeptical, jumpy mood. Every time TSN says Patrick Kane, I jump out of my seat. I’m antsy. I’m nervous. I’m goddamned worried. I know, however, that Partick Kane is going to walk away from this trial innocent. Let’s face it. We’re never going to know whether or not he actually did anything. That’s not information that he’s going to give away to the public. Sure, he can release all the statements that he wants saying that he’s done nothing wrong and that he was confused about why he was in this position in the first place, but we all know that maybe that’s not the full truth. He has a good lawyer, and his lawyer is going to do everything it takes to get people to believe that he’s innocent, whether its I don’t know, bribing JR’s lawyer into saying that the truth was stretched by the media, or stating that Kane was merely a witness in his cousin’s felony. Patrick Kane has money. And money buys you a good lawyer. And good lawyers can get you out of just about anything. But I’m still sitting here waiting in anticipation for any news, because anything can happen. Team Patrick.


Oh Patrick.

August 9, 2009

I know you know. Everyone knows by now. Everyone knows that Patrick Kane is the Chris Brown of the NHL, except he didn’t have a famous girlfriend to beat up, so he chose his Cabbie. Now most people are going to start calling him a cheap bastard, I wont. I love him all too much to do that. Yeah, he punched the guy, and it was wrong. Yeah, he took his money back, and that was wrong too. But he did all this because he was WASTED out of his mind. And yeah, you guessed it, that was wrong also. But it’s not like if he was sober he’d attack the guy over $1.20. I’m pretty sure he’s better than that. Just the day before he was talking about donating to building a rink in the Southern Buffalo area. That’s kindness there. Pat isn’t going to deserve half the slack he’s going to get for all this. He’s a hockey player. And getting wasted is what hockey players do. It’s what they’ve always been doing. So give the kid a break, he’s still learning. And there’s no possible way that the Cabbie could’ve been fully assaulted by someone who weighs like 90 pounds.

Dear Pkane,

I still love you.

Lovelovelove,

MM


Following Stanley

June 22, 2009

I apologize for the lack of major updates in the last few weeks, but this has been mostly because I’ve been too busy freaking out about the Pens winning the Cup  studying for final exams. Many people wonder what happens to a hockey blog during the off-season where there’s no hockey. Well, hockey extends further than 82 games and playoffs. During the post-season, some crazy shit can happen. Like, for example, still not knowing who’s going #1 overall in the draft next week. This is the first time this has happened in 6 years. The last time people were this uncertain about the draft was in 2003 when the Pens opted for Marc-Andre Fleury instead of Eric Staal. Personally, I think the Islanders will go for Tavares. Either that or make a trade *coughcough* Brian Burke *coughcough* Don’t get me wrong, I think any of the top-5 guys this year can make a drastic difference in that hockey club, I just think that with all the media/record breaking talent that Tavares has he’ll be the obvious choice. Another think that happens in the post season is the free-agency madness. And I mean MADNESS. On the Pens lineup, a couple of interesting names might not resign, such as Petr Sykora and the American Hero Rob Scuderi. If Shero doesn’t resign those two, he will MOST definitely become number one on my hitlist. First, you trade Colby, then you don’t sign Scuds and Syki? Okay, dude. Redeem yourself. Colby Freaking Armstrong is also a RFA at the end of the year. Do it, Shero, do it. He’s more popular than Santa Clause in Pittsburgh. You’ll be doing your fans a favor. I (with the help of Erika and Roxanne) wrote a letter to Ray Shero, we’ll scan it and post it up soon. It’s really quite epical. So, all summer, you can count on me to fully recap Lord Stanley’s summer. I’ll make sure to be the first to post the pictures of Max Talbot pissing into it, Sidney Crosby proposing to it, and Geno and the Malkin’s eating Borsht out of it. Unfortunately, I missed the NHL awards the other night. I did hear that O-V won the Hart. Psht. Whatever, he can have that trophy, Geno and I are plenty happy with our trophy. Damn straight, Alex, we went there. And anyone else hear the digs Boudreau made at the Pens? Uhm, douche alert! Just when you think you love that guy, he has to go and say something like THAT. Ugh. I thought it was REALLY classy that Max went to Vegas with Geno, even though he wasn’t, and probably never will be, nominated for an award. Whatever, he’s still MVP in my eyes.